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Ever since I had a job, I constantly found myself wishing for a guide of some sort. To be honest, I was not really interested in a guide of any sort, I wanted the guide that is the mother of all guides. I wanted a guide that knew anything and everything about working in a company, knew when to oil your boss and when to oil your bosses boss, knew how to choose between jobs and how to find new jobs. I wanted the guide of all guides. Basically I wanted a Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.
Since there is very little chance of finding one such guide on Earth (it may be stressed that such a guide is most likely in existence somewhere in the universe simply due to the vastness of the universe itself and the law of probability), I have decided to write one myself. Therefore ladies, gentlemen, androids and corporate slaves, welcome to,
The Company
According to the guide, the Company is the largest paradoxical being in the history of the universe. Anyone outside it’s influence want to be in it, and everyone in it wants to get out. The only other being that the Company is similar to is a Vogon. Therefore, by definition of a Vogon, a company is a large and unpleasant being mostly concerned with order among the people near it and a great fan of paperwork. It is not evil, in the sense of the word, but according to the people who has come into the contact of a Company, it is preferable to stay away from one. As for it’s love of paperwork, it is said that if the Companies were not in existence, there would be a lot more trees left in the universe. In fact, Composphere, the home planet of the Companies, was destroyed due to massive logging and paper-making leading to global warming and eventual destruction of the planet. Read the rest of this entry »
